Hi Reader,

We all know a pushy person.

The one who follows up…then follows up on the follow-ups, then circles back in case you missed the first two.

They’re the ones who keep reminding you to do things you’re not ready to do. And when you tell them you’re not ready, they’re back the next day reminding you again.

Why do they do this? Could be insecurity. Could be a need for control. I’ll leave the diagnosis part to the professionals.

Now give that person a project plan, a deadline, and a title and if you're not careful, that pushiness goes into overdrive.

And just like that, a Pushy PM is born.

Pushiness in a project manager

As promised in last week's article, I’m writing about what I call the “Pushy PM” syndrome.

If you knew me early in my project management days, you probably saw that pushiness in me and not just at work. It shows up in real life too, and it never fully goes away.

Just this past week, I was helping a friend install a new piece of technology in their home, and all I wanted was to get it done. But what my friend actually needed was for me to slow down and meet them where they were.

I feel I’ve mostly outgrown that tendency. Not because I became more patient overnight, but because I realized it simply doesn’t work. Over time, I’ve grown, both personally and professionally, and learned to let the small stuff go. Mostly because it’s usually not worth the energy.

I’ve also mentored many project people who struggle with this. They believe their project deliverables matter more than everyone else’s, or that if they aren’t pushy, they won’t be heard.

In reality, the opposite is true. The less pushy we are, the more people actually listen.

Be a less pushy PM

I see the solution as a three step process.

First, check in on the project manager.

Are they burned out or working too much?
Are personal challenges affecting their work?

Next, look at the team.

Are expectations realistic and fair?
Do they have the right people with the right skills?
If the team seems unhappy, what is the root cause?

Finally, focus on solutions.

Change the approach. Get clear on what needs to be done and why it matters so people understand the goal, not just the reminder.
Make room for real conversations. Ask what is getting in the way and resist the urge to fix it immediately. This one is always my downfall.
Let go of constant check-ins. If two follow-ups have not worked, a third is unlikely to be the one that does.

From pushy to partner

Shift from chasing people to partnering with them. It is a lot less exhausting.

Being pushy might feel productive in the moment. Things may get done, but it will come at a cost, as people will eventually disengage and tune out.

The best PMs do not win by sending the most follow-ups. They win because people trust them, respect them, and actually want to deliver for them.

So the next time you are tempted to send that next reminder, try pausing. You might find you do not need it after all.

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