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Hi Reader,

I’ll admit it. I’m a stickler, and I know it.

It’s one of the reasons I’m good at leading complex projects. But it also means that sometimes I can drive myself (and others) a little bananas when plans go off track.

Not long ago, a new acquaintance found out I’m a project manager and laughed, “Don’t people run away from you when they see you in the halls?”

They’re not wrong. It’s happened more than once.

Extreme Stickler-ness

According to Merriam-Webster, a stickler is:

Personally, I think a better definition is a royal pain, a headache, a nuisance, a bother, a pest, a vexation, a thorn in your side, and a constant source of aggravation.

In my early days, I was a world-class stickler. I micromanaged projects so tightly that my team and I would inevitably end up in a dark closet (metaphorically speaking) wondering how to find our way out.

The truth is, sticklers can get stuck on doing things one way, instead of the best way.

These days, I try to remember that not everything needs to be perfect. Some things just need to be good enough. And there are lots of different ways of doing things.

I even keep this as a reminder on my fridge:

The messy truth

The truth is projects are messy.

Accepting this fact goes a long way. As much as I could try, I couldn’t plan for every hiccup. I could try to catch them all, but I wouldn't be able to avoid all of them.

Eventually, I realized it’s all about balance. Being a stickler can be a strength, as long as we understand when it’s starting to get in the way of progress, or making people run for cover. I wrote about how to get out of your own way in my article last week.

Find the balance

I once worked with another stickler project manager, in an earlier-stage of stickler-ness than me. When their project started to get messy, they spent the next two weeks hiding behind their laptop until the chaos passed.

Instead of stepping in to steer things back to good enough, they took “staying out of their own way” to the extreme. This wasn’t balance but avoidance.

In the end, being a stickler isn’t a flaw but instead a superpower that needs limits. Over the years, I’ve had to learn to be just the right amount of stickler.

It’s all about finding the balance between caring deeply and letting go. That’s when people stop running from you in the halls… and start bringing you coffee and a pastry.

Barbara Kephart, PMP Founder and Chief Project Officer ​Projects Pivot​

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